What if the Best is not Enough?

I should be reading my readings now, but anyway, my mental state is in a whirlwind, so I may as well blog.

Question: What if the best within your ability is still not enough?

You should be terrified at the prospect of facing this kind of question some where, some time in your life.

By trying to the best of your ability, the task must be extremely difficult, the result must be extremely important to you.

Do you actually have a chance to succeed in the 1st place? Most probably no, or you have few chances of succeeding. But obviously, it must mean a lot to you so that despite knowing the chances of success is slim, you went for it.

The process of 'fighting' can be long or short but needless to say, tough and painful. We will squeeze out everything we can, hoping in vain that our efforts will be paid off. We will be mentally drained, emotionally unstable, physically tired. There will be a time (if the task is a long one) that we think "Maybe I should just give up". But you will also be thinking "No, it is too precious for me to give up" or "I've come this far, I cannot give up".

Now, when the results are out, they do not favour you. That is the time when the skies have fallen down on you. That is the time when when tears fill your eyes. That is the time when you don't have the strength to stand at all. That is the time when you know the end is near. That is the time you would reflect back and think "Is it all worthwhile?"

Then you may think "Why should I put in so much effort in the 1st place?" It is because the thing means so much to you, so much that you have to give it your 100%, nothing less than that will do, giving less that that makes you feel insecure.

Oh, again, I do not know how to continue. For those who read this, I have no advice if you are facing a similar problem because it has no solutions.

-Dakepaike-

Dakepaike's Weekly Quotes:

Week 5

Do not pray for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back to carry a heavier load.

What I want for Birthday!

One of my friends blogged about what he wanted for his birthday and we actually shared money and bought him his ideal present.

Now I am going to blog about what I want. Guys start preparing.

1. A mirror that can reflect if my family and friends are truly happy, because I want them to be happy from the inside.

2. 1.5 tonnes of luck

3. A red packet with SGD $10,000 in it

4. An armour for the heart: strong enough to withstand any heartbreak yet brave enough to do irrational things for love.

5. A reinforced steel cable to hang on to my sanity in times of stress and trauma.

6. A safebox full of moments of brilliance to use when things get tricky.

7. An eraser that can erase all the uncertainties of life.

8. The heart of a monster: to see if it has any conscience.

9. World peace

10. To again meet the girl who took off her shoes and played basketball with the kids. I want to tell her for once, someone made me I feel ashamed of myself.

Oh, am I being too demanding?

I am not a demanding person. But sometimes, simple things that I want cannot be fulfilled.

-Dakepaike-

Wrong programme info on Starhub's cable TV

I am in a blogging mood now.
Wanted to post this several months ago, but somehow it always manage to slip off my mind.

Wanted to call starhub and tell them about this mistake, but I guessed it was too trivial a matter. Anyway, spot the mistake in the picture. (very easy)



-Dakepaike-

Singapore True Ghost Stories = Children's book?

Found an interesting thing. Russell Lee (author of the famous Singapore True Ghost Stories series) is a children's book writer.

I don't know why but his latest STGS #17 tops the best seller - for children's book. If you look carefully in the picture, his book tops the children's book category. Sorry for the blurred picture, lousy handphone camera.


Source: The Straits Times Life Section

-Dakepaike-

Where to get cheaper Milo at NUS FASS...

I am not sure if this is an open 'secret', but the different vending machines in FASS sells drinks at different prices.

Not too sure if it only applies to Milo, but I only drink Milo from the vending machines. (I don't take carbonated soft drinks)

Anyway, here is an interesting observation:


Canned Milo at AS6, in front of LT14 and LT15 costs $1.10. This is the most expensive one of the 3 locations.



Canned Milo at AS2, below the Philosophy department, sells at $1.00. Same thing, same volume, different price. But ya, it is just a difference of $0.10. But it matters if you happen to run out of coins.



If you don't mind packet Milo, you can make your way to the nearby AS1, which I think is outside the Sociology department. The packet Milo there costs only $0.70. Not too sure if the volume is the same as the canned ones. Again, only a small difference in price but as I have said, if you happen to run out of coins and still crave for the taste of Milo, you know where to get it.

-达客拍客-

Oh, what if you are thinking like this?

One day, this thought suddenly came to my mind:

"I want to die, but I do not want to intentionally end my life."

I gave some thoughts to this phrase. The sentence itself is contradicting. A person who wants to die but doesn't want to end his/her life. What's the next best alternative?

By wanting to die, the wish cannot be fulfilled if the act of killing oneself is not committed or even thought of. Wanting to die is an unnatural thought and can only be fulfilled by an unnatural act. The person will not put himself/herself in danger of any sort, because by doing so, they would be intentionally trying to end his/her life. So, the person would not purposely dash across the road, the person would not make him/herself 'blur' enough to do dangerous things, the person would not bang his/her head against the wall etc... blah blah blah. He/she would still try to live life normally, and also being as cautious as before.

Perhaps the crucial thing is courage. Ending one's life requires tremendous courage. The person might be too scared to do the act of suicide. But then, why does the person want to die in the 1st place? I think this scenario is highly possible.

Sometimes, people can be in such tremendous pain, that they seriously think they want to end their lives. They know nothing can solve their problems. They just want to numb their senses, they want to fall asleep and never wake up, they want to get out of this world, escape from all the worries, stress and problems.

The point I am trying to make here is that some people may get trapped in such a situation. These people, in my opinion, are worse than people who considered suicide. Because they basically have no way out - they are trapped. Being trapped is a lot more painful than finding the easy way out. They truly represent the phrase "No choice". They are also more likely not to seek help. People in distress and considered suicide can call SOS, or even talk to a friend. They would exhibit signs of suicidal symptoms, friends around can spot their unusual behaviours can take action to prevent any tragedy. But people who want to die but at the same time, don't want to, are pitiful. They can't possibly tell others "I want to die, but I don't want to end my life." What are you going to tell to them? They may not want to reveal their problems, and they do not exhibit signs of being suicidal (because they are not suicidal in the 1st place).

I am not sure how am I going to continue this, but if you have a problem, talk to someone. If you cannot talk to someone, blog it. Find someone unknown online and talk about it. Talking can rescue you from being trapped. Talking can enlighten you.

Sorry, but I don't know what rubbish am I talking now. Just feel like blogging something worth giving a thought about.

-Dakepaike-

Dakepaike's Weekly Quotes:

Week 4

It is not the strongest who survive. It is those who survive that are the strongest.

Dakepaike's Weekly Quotes:

Week 3:

Pain is only painful if you have the desire to feel at ease

I know some of the quotes would get more and more nonsensical, just bear with me. Thanks.

Fade into Oblivion

Something wants to put my ideals to halt
At the back of my mind,
A strong calling resounds in my head
“Come back, come back to oblivion”
The heart retaliates aggressively
“Damn you! Why can’t you let me have my way?”
This conflict is too much for me to take
Tears trickle down my cheeks
Tears of confusion
Tears of joy, fear and pain
I don’t understand
Why my mind and heart cannot work as one
Why do they put my soul in a spot?
Why am I forced to a corner?
Why every decision I make brings pain?
When my mind has its way
The heart breaks down in tears
When my heart has its way
The mind snaps and goes insane
Perhaps I should numb my senses
Maybe I should knock myself into coma
Or even stop my heart from beating
When will these foolish thoughts end?
Only time will tell
Time shall lead the path to oblivion
When the feeling subsides
When the mind has no more strength to carry on
When I have no more desire
When I have absolutely nothing
When I can leave the world behind me
But guess what
I can never be oblivious to myself
For the state of ‘self’ is just too strong
I cannot be unknown to myself
And to be tied with the ‘self’
I am once again in pain
As the mind and heart lurks within the ‘self’
So, I can only hope and pray
Imagining myself fading into oblivion
Savouring the illusion of it
To ease a tiny bit of my sorrow
But can you see?
I am running away from something
And I am running towards something as well
But I am running on the spot
With my legs tied together
I know I am bound to stumble and fall
Stumble and fall
Stumble and fall
Without any progress
Without any hope
My mind asks me to stop
Use my hands to untie and free my legs
But the heart refuses to budge
It believes repeated attempts to run will loosen the rope
For the satisfaction to break free like that
Overwrites all the pain and suffering
Now I am back to square one
Nothing gets done
Nothing ever gets done
So I pray again
So many times I pray
And I can only pray
That one day
Everything returns to normal
The day when I AM oblivion

-Dakepaike-

Disclaimer

Forgot to add this.

Regarding the last post, it was not aimed at anyone in particular but the world in general. It was a reflection of the past year and my pains dealing with bigots from all walks of life. My weariness of bigotry stems from many sources, some of them are from myself. Bigotry, as I've observed, is part of the human condition whether we like it or not. Various degrees of it exists in the stubborn and the opinionated. The form of bigotry I'm lashing out at is its most pathological form (as much as I'm loathe to say) which tends to be insensitive and damaging as well as irritating. It closes minds and snuffs ideas at the bud. Extreme forms of it can be seen in the Hitler's Third Reich. Denying it's existence would be detrimental to personal growth and higher level attainment. Acknowledging that in everyone has bigot tendencies of various degrees somewhere in his makeup would be the first step to self censure and understanding. Before we judge the mistakes of others let us first turn inwards and examine ourselves.

Cheers
-麦克拍客

Bigotry is a major source of unhappiness for other people

and maybe yourself too.
Let me add to the melancholic strain the blog has been going into...

Anyone ever accused you of a being a bigot?

big·ot·ry /ˈbɪgətri/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[big-uh-tree] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun, plural -ries.
1. stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own.
2. the actions, beliefs, prejudices, etc., of a bigot.

Often, the bigot attempts to propagate his/her's beliefs and prejudices in the feeble guise of intellectual argument. How do we spot the bigot? It's actually quite easy, because it's quite obvious. The listener will experience a sense of frustration that the conversation is going nowhere, and that nothing he or she says will change the mind of the (suspected) bigot. He or she would want to end the conversation quickly or turn to other means to divert the bigot's attention to less irritating subjects.

Sounds familiar? often we fall into the same trap ourselves. The inability to accept the opinions of others, insisting that we are the only ones who are right. When will this stupidity end? We live in a pluralistic world. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. You are definitely entitled to your own, just don't attempt to force your opinion onto others. Especially for us university students. An open mind is the golden road. A close and stuffy mind breed disease, arrogance and humbug. An argument is not a fight, it's actually more of a dance where partners exchange views and ideas which they may or may not modify their own. Brushing logical and clear thought aside with a sweeping hand of biases and prejudices will not improve yourself, neither does playing with words and definitions and trying to trap the other in ineffectual grammar or vocabulary. That, my friends, is known as sophistry.

My two cents. Though on hind sight this sounds like a bigoted argument against bigotry. Unless you look upon it as a philosophy on life.

-麦克拍客

A conversation with fear

I scrambled to take cover from fear.
I ran away with all my might.
My adrenaline, pumping to the max.
I need a place to hide from fear.
I can run all I like, but I cannot hide.
Sometimes, I just don't feel like running anymore.
So mentally drained, so exhausted.
My will to fight wither off,
like leaves falling down in autumn time.
Come fear, let me be consumed by you.
Let me be your slave.
I will resign to this tragic fate.
You shall own my soul, I shall live in constant fear.
You will be my shadow, my every action reflects you.
I hate you, but I have to be with you.
You wanted me so badly, you really do.
I welcome you with open arms.
Please be gentle and kind with me.
For you have already owned me.
For you have already done something irreversible to me.
You could well be the only evidence that I lived before.
That I did enjoyed happiness before.
That I was once so carefree, so naive.
Fear, I know you lived happily within me.
But why don't you just kill me off?
The more i suffer, the more satisfied you become.
But there is nothing, completely nothing left in me.
I am just hollow in my mind, heart and soul.
It's time you move on.
To find another victim as delicious as me.
But you said NO,
and you said it firmly.
You said I am fear, fear is me.
You told me you are not anything from outside.
You are actually part of me.
Just that you kept quiet for a long time.
So long that your lack of presence in me,
is too much for you to take.
But the way you took over me,
so brutal, so ruthless, so unforgiving.
You are strangling me,
I felt so painful, so out of breath.
But you just don't let me die.
I forgive you, fear.
For this is the only thing you know how to do.
For this is what you do best.
For I chose to push the button of self destruction.
You have no choice but to come after me.
I know I am destined to suffer.
So continue to eat away my soul,
consume my heart, engulf my mind.
If one day you really leave me,
Wait a minute, what am I thinking?
How is it possible for you to leave me?
No, you will never leave me...

-Dakepaike-

Dakepaike's Weekly Quotes:

Week 2:
If you say you have nothing to lose, you have actually lost everything.

Untitled

If I fall, no one will catch me.
For I hide from them that I fell.

When I cry, no one will notice.
For I held back my tears all the time.

If I snap, no one will realize.
For I will act as my usual self.

If I fail, no one will pull me up.
For they think I will never fail.

If I fear, no one can comfort me.
For my fears have consumed me.

If I drift away, no one can hold me back.
For I have drifted too far away.

If I scream, no one will hear me.
For no one can hear a silent scream.

If I beg for forgiveness, no one will forgive me.
For I have sinned too gravely.

If I need help, no one can help me.
For my problems have no solutions.

If I crash and burn, no one is willing to save me.
For I refused to heed their advice.

If I disappear, no one can find me.
For I have really vanished.

If I had vanished, no one would remember me.
For I am not worth remembering…

-Dakepaike-

A Case for Separation… and Understanding

“Why does God need you to defend him?

It must be because you think you are more powerful than your God.
If you think your God is weaker than you, that’s not much of a faith.
Does it not follow, then, that people who fight wars for religion don’t have much faith?”

The above is an excerpt from Paul Arden’s 2007 book “God Explained in a Taxi Ride”. A small description of this particular ‘rebel’ author is that he used to be Executive Creative Director for an advertising firm. I myself don’t really know him well, just that I liked his books a lot. Go check him out!

All right, back to the topic. All the while, since the time when I was conscious about things like gods, religions and churches (or any other places of worship, chose churches for simplicity sake), I have always instinctively lumped all three altogether. Being based in Singapore, discussion of religious issues has always been regarded as sensitive, due to the plurality of our society, also partly due to the success of our National Education. The plurality nature of society also brings stereotypes of various religions as there are limitations of understanding others. Because of that, I would shun against discussing religions openly to prevent misunderstanding to arise until quite recently.

In my past contact with History education, wars are fought for three reasons, for God, for Glory and for Gold. Given that God is an all-round supernatural, he would most probably be more powerful than all humans combined. And why would there be a need for a war to protect him (or her)? I would thus regard God as a human invention that gives people hope and some explanation of things otherwise unexplained. A bold assumption would be that god is a manifestation of the subconscious mind as humans are generally not that strong to hold for themselves. Looking back at history, churches are institutions to maintain social order and moral integrity by imposing them on people’s minds. Religion is a motive for people to follow and would be manifestations of the institutions. Throughout history, we can see that it would be the religious institutes, and not the laws, that are the ones upholding the society’s integrity. Secular governments often set their laws based on moral integrity and many of these laws could most probably have religious backgrounds. However, the abovementioned remains bold and unrestrained. In all good faith, I hope not to incur any wrath around here, and comments are well appreciated.

Happy New Year!

The author (a.k.a. me) is a person of science and does not believe in the supernatural. I remain a staunch atheist. (“But, won’t a strong belief in something, such as the non-existence of a god, be a religion?” (From the same book.))

-异客拍客-

Dakepaike's Weekly Quotes:

It is the beginning of a new year. We have revamped our blog design and I have a fresh idea to start a weekly quote kind of thing. I don't know if I have 52 original quotes to share, but I shall try my best to post 1 every week. Do ponder on these quotes (if you have time). Sorry to all other contributors if I am hogging a lot of posts (paiseh!)


Week 1:

When you treat everything as not important, everything becomes of equal importance.

Happy New Year!

Again we revisited a similar celebration of counting down to the new year but with totally different stories to tell for the past year and many new resolutions for the upcoming year.

Why do people celebration new year?

So that they can sum up what has happened for the past year? So they can have something to look forward to for the next 12 months? Is there anything really worth celebrating? Or is it just a mark of the transition from one year to another?

I think people want to have this feeling of 'progress'. We need something to show us that we have done and experience something and now we can move on to another. We need some 'ends' at some period of our lives and more importantly, we need 'beginnings' too. Human nature is just so weird.

New Year Day is, in my opinion, a socially constructed occasion. I am not too sure if people from many centuries ago did celebrate this day but I think people yearn for some sort of celebration, progress, evidence that we have lived the year, that we have moved on.

Anyway, let's hope that 2008 would be a great year for all FuKePaiKes and our loyal blog readers. Let's hope for world peace (what a cliche phrase!), good health and good luck for all!

-达客拍客