A conversation with fear

I scrambled to take cover from fear.
I ran away with all my might.
My adrenaline, pumping to the max.
I need a place to hide from fear.
I can run all I like, but I cannot hide.
Sometimes, I just don't feel like running anymore.
So mentally drained, so exhausted.
My will to fight wither off,
like leaves falling down in autumn time.
Come fear, let me be consumed by you.
Let me be your slave.
I will resign to this tragic fate.
You shall own my soul, I shall live in constant fear.
You will be my shadow, my every action reflects you.
I hate you, but I have to be with you.
You wanted me so badly, you really do.
I welcome you with open arms.
Please be gentle and kind with me.
For you have already owned me.
For you have already done something irreversible to me.
You could well be the only evidence that I lived before.
That I did enjoyed happiness before.
That I was once so carefree, so naive.
Fear, I know you lived happily within me.
But why don't you just kill me off?
The more i suffer, the more satisfied you become.
But there is nothing, completely nothing left in me.
I am just hollow in my mind, heart and soul.
It's time you move on.
To find another victim as delicious as me.
But you said NO,
and you said it firmly.
You said I am fear, fear is me.
You told me you are not anything from outside.
You are actually part of me.
Just that you kept quiet for a long time.
So long that your lack of presence in me,
is too much for you to take.
But the way you took over me,
so brutal, so ruthless, so unforgiving.
You are strangling me,
I felt so painful, so out of breath.
But you just don't let me die.
I forgive you, fear.
For this is the only thing you know how to do.
For this is what you do best.
For I chose to push the button of self destruction.
You have no choice but to come after me.
I know I am destined to suffer.
So continue to eat away my soul,
consume my heart, engulf my mind.
If one day you really leave me,
Wait a minute, what am I thinking?
How is it possible for you to leave me?
No, you will never leave me...

-Dakepaike-