Suddenly, life has a new meaning

I think only one person has seen my previous post: "This may be my last blog entry".

Wasn't really feeling good 2 days ago. But now, I'm ok, not slightly better, but a lot better. I have discovered many different aspects of me. Every moment, every action and thought that I had, debunked who I thought I am for over 20 years. I am now same same but different.

It was a weird event, I doubt I can experience anything as weird as this one in my life. I think the same goes to many others. It was one of those kinds of things where you thought everything's lost but amazingly, nothing actually happened.

Lady luck was on my side. Sometimes teasing me to such an extent that it is driving me crazy. Sometimes she is sleeping when I needed her the most but now I know that somehow, she is always by my side.

Suddenly, life has a new meaning. But it takes great courage to experience what it means. I have to purposely cripple my self-defense instincts, I have to shut down my capacity to think rationally, I have to force my eyes to open even if a sharp object is aiming towards my eyes. But I am happy to do so, because by doing so, I can be genuinely happy. (Oooh, so complicated that I myself don't understand!)

Anyway, of the 3 outcomes, I achieved rejuvenation. Thank goodness.

Hopefully, I am really mentally tougher now.

-dakepaike-